Rome, Ruin and Rain.

This place, holy God.  Where to start on this one...  I realize that other people may have had a different experience with Rome but I can only report my own.  So here it is... We arrive late in the evening from Paris on a quiet, sardine packed budget flight that reeks of B.O.  There is a man who puts his sock clad feet up on the back of someone's chair.  I took a pic to shame him.  We arrive from an overpriced taxi to our nearly unmarked bed and breakfast, well it really was just a hostel, with four keys for four doors that spilled out onto the busiest street in the world.  At night, when we didn't hear the horns and the honks, we heard women screaming.  The next morning, we partook of the continental breakfast and set out to adventure!  Oh and boy did we get it.  We walked ten minutes to the colosseum and witnessed the grand spectacle that was Rome at its most violent and brilliant.   We strolled the ruins and gardens outside the colosseum and truly there is history EVERYWHERE.  Take a walk to an ATM and you'll see 2000 year old baths, a frieze and column the same age.  Rome is a wonder, a place where the 21st century slams into the time of Christ, except there are gangs of feral cats that lounge about on the ruins sunning themselves.

We lunched on loads of pasta and risotto and marveled at how much more affordable it was than France.  Later in the day we went to the Borghese gardens and museum to find the museum sold out sadly.  We strolled the gardens and to our delight we found them full of incredibly beautiful sculptures, buildings and fountains from the ancient Renaissance.  We topped the evening off with some more pasta and Gelato.    It's going to be hard not shooting a photo of my food before every meal.  I've become a tourist in the grossest sense.  We've all gained a bit of weight on this trip, even with the miles and miles of walking.  We've also become acutely familiar with each other's toilet schedule, a most intimate group indeed.  

The Italians are beautiful people, especially when young.  Like wow.  Is it in the water?  I drank quite a bit of it and am still waiting.  Groups of teenagers that look like Renaissance beauties.  Not a zit or awkward kid in sight.  Most Italians are smartly dressed and no nonsense.  Cool as hell.  Great hair, great style, men and women.  

The next day we awoke early to rain, and not just a little spit of it.  Rain, pouring, ALL DAMN DAY LONG.  We hoped on a metro, slurped a quick cafe latte and pastry and stood in line for two hours to get into the Vatican museums.  Again, all in the rain.  It's amazing how the cruel bitch of Mother Nature can quickly diminish your spirit.  The Vatican was truly a who's who of the Renaissance.  Raphael's frescos including the "School of Athens" and the Hellenistic sculpture the "Laocoon" were some sincere highlights amongst the slow moving and clueless tourists.  Thousands and thousands of tourists also diminish the spirit...  The Hellenistic sculpture though alone was worth the trip. The Sistine ceiling was awe inspiring for most but I found it busy and overwhelming, the same brown skin tone throughout the entirety.  The feeling was also dulled by the guards screaming at the tourists at the top of their lungs, "NO PHOTOS!!!"  When they didn't listen, their cameras were snatched away.  We went into the Vatican walls and viewed Saint Mark's square where folks collect to hear news of the new Pope.  Then we jetted out quickly because it was atrociously filled with tourists and they close for three hours at lunch.  We walked to a small restaurant and yet again enjoyed a delicious pasta menu del dia, followed by yet again more Gelato.  I don't know why it isn't more of a thing in the states to be honest.  We were out of steam and soaking to the core by that point.  One of the students Clay, started to take pictures documenting our meager spirits and wet sadness.   Looking back though I think it hysterical. One umbrella broke after the next until only two of us had ones that weren't turned backwards.   Dark comedy at its best.  A young lad np named Matt referred to his an "unbrella".   We trekked back to the hostel and dried out while napping.  In the evening, I introduced the kids to Indian food.  They seemed to like it, especially the samosas.  Now I'm on a train to Florence!  I am looking forward to a change from Rome and even more art.  And hopefully my shoes will dry out but it looks like more rain is on the way.

Purge of Roma

 

1.You stand in a line forever here.  Buy tickets in advance to everything. For real.  Hours and hours in line.  Now I know.  

2.  You must watch your person and your belongings like it's prison.  Crooks are everywhere ready to pounce on you the moment your guard is let down.   Piper Chapman would have been sold on the black market in 20.  I'm grittier now.  A young woman and her two mates tried to pickpocket one of the chaps in our group.  He caught her and announced loudly what was happening.  They scattered like the rotten flies that they were.  We were incredibly rattled after that and the news of a downed flight in the Alps.  It was difficult to recover.

3.  The people hawking their wares on the street will abuse you if you don't fall for their schemes.  I may have spit a most foul thing right outside of the Vatican at one who threw a terrible comment my way.  I may not be proud of it.  Outside of the holiest of places, a most foul thing.

4.  Nothing is marked.  There is no signage anywhere for anything.  Hardly any for monuments, streets, transit and protocol at intitutions.  No platform marked on train tickets, no gate on your airline boarding pas.  Good luck y'all!  You don't speak the lingo?  Ask directions and hope for the best chump.  They assume you are a local and will just adopt a "when in Rome" policy. For a city that depends on so much tourism, they sure do know how to pull a cruel joke.  

5.  Crosswalks?  Good luck with that.  I played Russian roulette at every single crossing.  You just walk straight into traffic and hope you aren't paralyzed after.   Good fortune smiled on us, this time.  A little agility training three months prior to the trip would have helped everybody out.  American Ninja here I come!

6.  Rome is the loudest, dirtiest city I've ever been to.  Graffiti, trash and pee everywhere., even at the ruins.  When we arrived in Paris there was graffiti on the walls and the students said that they enjoyed it, thought it was "neat."  I smirked.  Then we got to Rome.  I think they fell out of love with the novelty.  I hope they did at least.

7.  Those Romans love to shop.  Bargains and street vendors everywhere.  Want a purse?  Size 42 Nike high tops, backpack with ears, a scarf, an antique camera lucida, some used tea bags, a broken wheelchair?  You got it.  And haggle it down to nothing.  They depend on it.  They expect your abuse.  Thank you sir, may I have another.  Just don't expect a smile when you walk away.  Whatever you want, they've got it.  Except for galloshes.  Nope.  None of those.  Not one in sight.

8.  There are tourists crawling over everything worth doing.  It's swarming with Japanese tour groups of 100, beautiful little French and Italian school kids of the same size, and Brits.  If you're a cluster phobe or have a crowd anxiety, prepare for a panick attack.  I've been moved and touch by so many from so far.  

9.  Restaurants and cafes will charge you more if you sit down for your coffee and pastry.  Again, no signage on this one.  Sometimes they charge you on the time that you sit there.  We almost fell for that one more than once.  It's why every European is standing while slurping an Espresso.  

10.  Romans can be helpful, truly.  We were aided by servers, drivers, concerned Romans eager to give directions, and we even saw a poor woman pass out on a subway escalator.  A crowd of concerned and well meaning Romans flocked to her aid.  So many in fact they the escalator almost turned into a people crushing disaster as we couldn't get off.  

11. The countryside is beautiful here.  A taste of Tuscany is filled with green pastures, ancient villages, foothills and sheep flocks.  Take the train if you can.  

12.  God.  The Italians know how to make a good cup of coffee, best I've had yet.  Espresso, latte, cappuccino?  Whatever your fix, it takes your appreciation to new heights.  I have a guy that hooks me up if you are OK scoring on a street corner with screaming women and traffic.

13.  You like cats?  Rome's got cats.  Everywhere.  They love to lounge in the ruins.  It seems delightfully quaint at first but I think they may be diseased.  

14.  Figurative statuary are around every corner, every bridge, every corner fountain, on tons of buildings.  This place is a sculpture lovers delight.  I've never really appreciated it until now.  Why isn't there this much public art in the U.S.?  It must be the puritanical fear of buns and boobies.  Europe is a place where a good pair of buns doesn't go unnoticed.

15.  What the hell?  Why are restaraunts in Europe so damn stingy with tap water?  Can I just get a glass of water please??!!!